


phantom

by CountessCzan



Category: Joker Game (Anime)
Genre: M/M, Poor Sakuma, Post-Canon, trying AND failing, trying to cope with death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-14
Updated: 2016-12-14
Packaged: 2018-09-08 12:15:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8844658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CountessCzan/pseuds/CountessCzan
Summary: The best spies are the ones history never remembers.
(Sakuma, however, does.)





	

**Author's Note:**

> soooo i don't really ship miyo/saku very much but i felt like writing about miyoshi's death because i just watched the anime and IT SHOCKED ME SO MUCH so here. i tried. enjoy???

He sits in a cafe, posture deliberately slouched, hand idly tapping on the sides of his table, the motion coming to him like a well-worn jacket that he knows when to wear and when to discard. From an outsider's point of view, it looks like a habit. Bathed in the warm afternoon sunlight, he is a cat stretched on a warm seat, except he isn't because Miyoshi of D-Agency is dead, dead,  _dead,_ and whoever is the man Sakuma is seeing isn't him.

It's not him.

Sakuma averts his eyes from the figure of inside the shop and continues walking briskly.

 

* * *

 

 

The best spies are the ones that history never remembers.

Once upon a time, Sakuma loathed espionage with a passion; he was of the opinion that it is cowardice wrapped in misleading words and outright deception. It reminds him of back alley fights, five-on-one and every bit of bullying he's witnessed. It reeks - the lack of honor in the way they fight, if that is even fighting, is appalling, especially for Japanese men.

Now he knows better, now he knows when to bite his tongue and assess people carefully before talking, now he knows that not everything is at it seems and that spies have their own way of doing things. Now he knows that what he perceived as cowardice is just self-preservation, is just cunning, is just another way of achieving their goals - and he,  _he_ of all people, is impressed.

Now he loathes that spies aren't given recognition for the extreme devotion they give to their field. Now he hates that the best spies are the ones history does not remember,  _will not remember,_ because that means Miyoshi - whatever his true name is - will never be acknowledged.

If Sakuma dies, the Army will recognize his death.

Miyoshi is dead and nobody, except for those inside the D-Agency and the handful of contacts it has, including him, knows.

It bothers him. So much so, that he digs out an old notebook and writes, against his better judgment.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

"You really are quite something, Sakuma-san," the specter in his dreams says, the same knowing smile that Sakuma remembers on his face. "Shouldn't you let go of me now?"

"I'm trying," answers Sakuma, and isn't it telling that even inside the dream, his throat feels blocked and everything feels destroyed. There is nothing but a direct focus on the ghost in front of him, the background blurred and every bit of his dream-sense attuned to the suit-clad figure of a man long dead.

Miyoshi smiles. "No," he says. "You're not."

Sakuma wishes the haunting will never end.

 

* * *

 

 

It should bother him that he never finds out what his real name is, but strangely, it doesn't. He will always be Miyoshi to Sakuma.

 

* * *

 

 

Sometimes he turns around the corner and spots a familiar flash of maroon suit and confident stature. Sometimes it's the right pitch of voice that calls his attention. Sometimes his heart beats faster for no particular reason and Sakuma feels the urge to ask,  _what is it, what do you see, is it him is it him is it--_

In his dream, Miyoshi asks him to let go, but the truth is, Miyoshi is the one who doesn't let go of Sakuma.

 

* * *

 

 

He writes,

_Miyoshi smiled._

_Miyoshi laughed._

_Miyoshi lived._

**Author's Note:**

> Thoughts?


End file.
